Rally - The final word

The internet, national and local news media, TV and radio have all gone crazy over this silly wee story. Even people who don't follow the sport. It's the talk of the steamie.

To date, over 89,000 people have viewed the original FB post on Wednesday (and still rising!) from America to Australia with Rally Barbados chipping in too. No doubt the powers that be will be only too well aware of the furore that has been stirred up. If they sought to 'make an example' of this incident then it has back-fired. Big time.

One further point before I hand over to a wonderfully poetic talent. If the penalty was set 'to make an example' then by implication such a harsh penalty was unjust. It makes me wonder what the 'fair' penalty would be if they didn't want to 'make an example' and simply judged the misdemeanour on its merits.

Anyway, that's for wiser counsel than mine to deliberate over, but let me try and bring this matter to a close with a smile and the hope that everyone who reads it takes it in the manner in which it was intended.

Honest, I did not write the following poem, that took a much sharper talent than mine. It arrived in the post anonymously in a hand written envelope with an identifiable post mark so I'll say no more than that. But I really would like to know for sure who wrote this. There could be a job waiting for him/her:

The National Court

Here comes a salutory tale

  for sporting volunteers

The National Court says stay at home -

  All else will end in tears -

For if you stand from nine till five

  in solitary place,

with mist and fog and wind and rain

  All battering your face,

There's no reward if you should slip

  from highest standard sought -

In fact a sentence punitive

  will likely be your lot!

The MSA with best intent

  Has marshal training praised -

And made a licence for such job

  A process that is phased,

As basic marshal you can stand

  in some forsaken spot,

And for no payment and no thanks

  Give it your finest shot,

For with fluorescent bib,

  a whistle and a flask,

You're well equipped to answer all

  that spectator folk should ask!

The Calendar from the SRC

  With views of bum and boob

Are not considered an offence

  In fact they're on YouTube,

However, as marshal

  If you show your derriere,

It's a thousand quid into the fund

  I ask 'Does that seem fair?

That they should throw their weight about

  decides the National Court

and soil the reputation

  of National Motor sport?'

Of course, if you're a marshal,

  and that's all your licence says,

You can't be censured awfully

  if imperfect in your ways,

But by some curious quirk of thought

  The National Court sees done,

A ban from competition

  for a driver seeking fun -

It's like telling page three model

  flaunting bosoms in the Sun,

That her driving licence is revoked

  and her motoring days are done!

Of course, it would be petty,

  to compare the FIA,

For Max Mosley was their President

  and still has quite  say,

He had some private happenings

  exposed by national press,

And he robustly fought his rights

  With notable success,

So likewise there's a culprit in

  this current crazy case -

The Sport's accredited media

  who put the shot in place

So as an unpaid marshal

  don't make a bum decision -

For well paid members of the Court

  can hold you in derision -

Not with a 'Don't do that again'

  or wee slap on the wrist,

But with the utmost power they have

  and with an iron fist,

And when you're summoned to Colnbrook 

  on naughty step to stand,

Be ready for a six-month ban

  and a fine at least a grand!

The Court Jester