Wishing all a Guid New Year

 

 Sorted …. All the best for the New Year everyone, keep it lit and keep it safe.

Rally - Adventure time

How about a rallying adventure to kick off the New Year? On the 24th/25th January 2025 to be precise, Highland Car Club will be running their ‘Far North Winter Classic’ Targa Rally. Starting from Tain, a mere 35 miles north of Inverness, the 165 mile route will take competitors through the magnificent terrain of Easter Ross and Sutherland. The organisers are aiming for 4 Regularities and up to 16 Timed Tests and will provide all classes of competitor with a Route Card and Final Instructions to permit competitors to mark the route on their own maps before the rally start.

Full details are on the Highland Car Club website, address below, and Entry Forms are accessible from there. The £185 Entry Fee includes two snack lunches and two meals at the finish. Rally Plates will be provided with numbers

But here’s the thing. Looking at the list of organisers, the name of Fraser Hughes is listed as Deputy Clerk of the Course. In fact Fraser has featured in these posts before. This was after the 2018 ‘Spirit of ’88 Mull Targa Rally’ on which he and Peter McInnes competed in their Mazda MX5 some six years ago now. Anyway, the extract from that rally report is printed below:

“ There were some other sterling performances from the ‘nutters brigade’ led by Fraser Hughes and Peter McInnes who left Tain at 3am in the morning in their Mazda MX5, did the rally and then headed back immediately to the Ferry Terminal for the last boat to get back home – and had no hood on the Mazda. Wet doesn’t cut it, neither does drookit, but one wonders just how Peter managed with his paperwork in the pouring rain! ”

Seriously, this particular Mazda had no roof on it all, and the daring (daft?) duo drove the thing all the way across the northern tip of Scotland from Tain to Mull, did the rally, and drove back again to Tain, first ferry to last ferry – all in one day, and in the pouring rain! And they even had time to wave to the massed ranks of spectators. Well, they made one wee boy’s day! With that in mind, prospective rally doers can expect a fun and testing time in the Far North.

In fact why not make a weekend of it. Tain is also home to one of the most evocative (and most often mis-pronounced) names in the Scotch Whisky industry, Glenmorangie, where a visit to the distillery might do wonders for the spirit – the human spirit that is. In fact the Still House has the tallest stills in Scotland and is quietly referred to by the staff as the ‘Highland Cathedral’, and that’s well worth a gasp or two. It’s closed at weekends so why not make the trip up on Thursday? Just a thought.

https://www.highlandcarclub.co.uk/

 

 

In dead of night

Yet another mission of mercy. Like something out of Thunderbirds, I got a call from a damsel in distress. Apparently she had forgotten to order a book for her partner’s Christmas and was wary of him finding nowt underneath the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Especially since he had dropped enough hints about what he wanted for Christmas!

Anyway, I got a phone call, could I help out? This proved entirely beneficial because she hadn’t realised I had produced two books on the Scottish Championship so far, so she also ordered the 1980s decade as well as the much desired latest release covering the 1990s.

So there I was, like Santa’s little helper, delivering a couple of books to a much relieved customer at dead of night in a motorway service station, just like last year, only different circumstances.

As to who this person might be, my lips are sealed, and he’ll never know, thereby solving the damsel’s dilemma and soothing her anxiety. Happy days, eh?

https://fife-motor-sports-agency.square.site/

 

Race - When we were young—er

It’s amazing what you come across when you’re not looking. In amongst the rally stuff were these, photographs taken almost 30 years ago. Over 50 odd years of sports and news reporting I wasn’t just involved in rallying, I got involved in many other sports on 2, 3 and 4 wheels, as well as some without wheels!

For instance way back in the early days of Knockhill I was actually ‘in charge’ of the Press Office at the major events such as BTCC, Superbikes, F3 and GTs as Derek thought it would be better to have a journalist in charge of the Press Office rather than a PR person! Back in the day, facilities were rather less luxurious and well equipped than they are now, but the idea went down well with the visiting reporters, journalists and photographers from afar, especially with those I knew.

However there were some ‘specialists’ whom I didn’t know but since everyone had to apply for media accreditation before hand for the major events – a stipulation by the championship organisers – then the Press Office had a good idea of how many were coming, what facilities they would need and which armbands and vests to have available.

Mind you there were always some who thought they didn’t need to bother and one such chap arrived ahead of one of these major events, marched up to the PO’s desk in an already busy media office and asked to sign on. At which point the PO asked who he was in order to cross his name off the list. Back came the question: “Don’t you know who I am?” The rather embarrassed PO lowered his voice and responded: “Sorry, I don’t, but if you’d like me to ask around I’ll see if anyone can help you out!

Sadly, that didn’t go down too well as the chap stormed out of the office in the huff and the assembled throng burst into fits of laughter. I understand a complaint was subsequently made in the BTCC official marquee to the High Heid Yin where a bruised ego was assuaged and the appropriate press passes sought by a minion dispatched to the Press Office. Fortunately the press service at Knockhill is a much more professional affair these days.

Anyway, part of the PO’s duties included the issue of press releases and these were sent out with photographs to the local press long before the internet became the monster that it is now.

So that’s where these photos came from although mixed in with my rally stuff. Even so, there’s no need to name the racers, is there? They are/were all instantly recognisable Knockhill and UK national figures. Aren’t they?

 

Rally Jaggy saves Christmas

It would appear that Christmas deliveries are under threat. Apparently no government anywhere in the world has a record of issuing a Pilot’s Licence to a chap called St Nicholas, aka, Santa Claus.

The matter was a raised at the most recent United Nations meeting in September when one of the arriving VIP’s (Very Important Politician) private aircraft was apparently ‘buzzed’ by a low flying sleigh and six reindeer on a shakedown down test flight and MoT (Ministry of Trotters) inspection ahead of December 24th/25th.

This ‘near-miss’ (a phrase soon to be outlawed by the politically correct brigade whenever they manage to come up with a suitable replacement for the word ‘miss’) so upset the visiting dignitary that he lodged a complaint with Air Traffic Control, who claimed to have no knowledge of this flight or future flights.

The topic then assumed more earnest and serious discussion. How environmentally friendly is this form of flight? What do reindeer eat and do they fart more than cattle? Will the reindeer hooves create sparks in the ether laden atmosphere and cause a conflagration? Is Santa’s sack fastened to the sleigh securely enough to meet international cargo safety standards? Will loose presents fall out and clout pedestrians passing by down below? Will the ‘sky-highway’ cops be able to check its kerb weight and laden capacity? Does it have an internationally recognised weighbridge ticket of confirmation? To what lighting standards does the sleigh conform? Does Santa wear a seat belt and does he and his reindeer meet international Elf & Safety legislation.

All this and more was discussed feverishly as the delegates sought to impose some sort of control over this swashbuckling individual and his annual night-time endeavour. They simply couldn’t permit a projectile flying through the sky with an untrained, unqualified pilot at the reins. Could they?

So a letter was composed and sent to Santa’s cabin in Lapland urging the great man to register his flight plan, have his conveyance checked and approved, and himself licenced to pilot a flying commercial aircraft. Only then a could the necessary licences and approvals be issued.

The United Nations even had a system in mind for the issuing of such a licence. As experts in such a process, they approached the Motorsport UK organisation for permission to use their official ‘speedy on-line’ licencing system.

And all at once the great plan foundered when the umpteen page documentation was revealed. The system was already overburdened with clubs and individuals trying to renew licences and/or upgrade while coping with new folk trying to obtain their first licence. So overwhelmed was the system that it was overheating to such an extent that staff in MSUK HQ were wandering about the corridors of power in their underwear.

However, Jaggy to the rescue. The big chap drove down to Bicester in dead of night, scaled the rone pipe, slipped through the attic window, tiptoed down to the documentation room, retrieved the Santa application form from the overwhelmed machinery, dripped some Castrol R into the cogs, sidestepped the official protocols, got the Sanity Clause licence signed by someone wearing a blazer and still suffering the after-effects of the office party, and was off back down the drainpipe quicker than an AC Cobra hitting 60 from rest.

On his return back to the frozen north, the big chap sought out the only Scrutineer qualified for such a task, Willie Greig, to sign the SS (Santa Sleigh) Logbook cos he’s the only one old enough to know what a sleigh is, and couldn’t make out what the picture was anyway, and Santa mistook him for one of his elves! Job done.

Then it was simply a dash further north to hand the precious licence in person to a relieved Santa, so it would appear that Christmas has been saved for 2024. Santa and the reindeer will be fleein’ high next week - legally. Now sleep easy weans of the world.

So Merry Christmas everyone and a Guid New Year tae yin an a’ – and most especially for all the bairns and teens!

Frae yer auld pal Jaggy B and his new pal Santa Claws – and by the way, who has now been made an honorary member of The Coltness Bears!

Rally - The Last Post

All book orders are now Royally Mail posted and up to date, anything ordered after 11.30 am this morning (Sat 21st) won’t be processed till after Christmas. Hopefully this morning’s consignment will reach their destinations in time even though they are being sent as far afield as Aberdeen and Oxford and various places in between!

However, if there are any desperate folks out there who think they have missed out, I might be able to help. Last year there was one last minute phone call from the deep south west (Dumfries, actually) when one young lad completely oblivious to the time of year almost forgot his Dad’s Christmas present, and could I help. Well, who could resist such a plaintive call?

The outcome was a clandestine meeting on a dark and wet Winter’s day at Cairn Lodge services on the M74 where the goods were exchanged for cash in a rather busy car park full of festive travellers and holidaymakers. If anyone spotted us they must have thought it was a surreptitious drug deal going down - out the back of one van into another!

So if the order is big enough I still might be able to help. Have Transit, might travel!!

Anyway apart from all the flattering messages about the latest book one complaint has been received. It comes from an elderly ex-rally driver who says it’s far too heavy to read in bed. Apparently it is ‘stored’ on his beside table and he likes nothing better than flicking through the photos at night time before the sleep fairy beckons. I’m not quite sure if he falls asleep through boredom or the effort of holding the book up! So much for power steering building up the arm muscles, eh?

Meanwhile, work on the 2000s book is well underway.

https://fife-motor-sports-agency.square.site/