If alcohol has such a dehydrating effect on the human body, as claimed by the world's leading medical professionals and do-gooding abstemious abstainers, then how come I'm still damp from the weekend? Is it just a question of finding out how much is sufficient to dry oneself out, does height and weight come into it, has intake capacity and toleration something to do with it, or does it only work when one over-indulges, falls over and hugs the pavement? On that basis, and purely in the spirit of biological and physiological enlightenment, then perhaps the experiment should be continued to assess the exact quantity that must be consumed to counter the effects of excessive rain on the human body and the osmotic effect of absorption through sodden clothes. Cheers everyone, here's to more scientific discovery, eh? David Attenborough has nothing on this!