Show - and Shine at SECC

Well, that was different. The Scottish Car Show at the SECC did what it says on the tinwork. Acres of shiny paint and polished chrome with serious underbonnet bling where an engine should be. There were cars to suit all tastes, and those with no taste. Life imitates art. There's no denying the amount of money and effort that has gone every into every car on display but for those involved in motor sport, it just seemed pointless. For those who just enjoy cars for what they are and what they can do, there was much to see. 

The show's organisers have come a long way from an enthusiasts' gathering in a public park, and this latest move to the SECC filled almost all the Halls inside the SECC. It was nothing like the original Scottish Motor Show which was last staged here 15 years ago. That was a show with a showroom finish and sales space, this was a no-frills show for car nuts.

Having all this extra pace allowed the organisers to host some arena type events and there was even a stage where rock group 'Fluorescent Hearts' pounded the eardrums and illusionist Chris de Rosa dazzled the eyeballs.

Rallying was represented in the arena with Alex Adams, Blair Brown and Alasdair S Graham presenting their cars to the public and being interviewed by a highly knowledgeable and thoroughly entertaining MC (?!). 

And despite the organisers urging safety first, no noise and no high speed manouevres, there’s always one, isn’t there? On leaving the arena, Alasdair paused, then gave the Corsa the beans from a standing start. The tyres spun and smoked, the engine echoed around the Hall, and he left rubber from there to the Exit. Hooligan. And you know what, we didn’t get a row. So on the second show, Blair joined in the melee although Alex couldn’t because he was passengering in Ryan Weston’s Aygo as Ryan is on holiday in Americky.

Serious negative camber

One of the other acts was Paul Swift with his professional stunt show set to music, but according to the programme, he was down for ‘precision’ stunt driving. Some of his high speed parking manoeuvres were a bit sloppy. In the parallel parking he was at least 3 mm out, and in his longitudinal parking he was about 2 degrees out. Maybe I should tell his Dad the kid's doing shoddy work. But you could put that down to hard work and dedication. He was doing a show in Moscow on Saturday, flew back Saturday night and then drove the outfit up to Glasgow on Sunday morning for the show. Keen, eh

Mind you some of the best spectating was out in the car park watching the lycra clad lovelies tottering across the rubbly, uneven tarmac on their 8 inch heels and two inch block soles – and all the slevvering young lads anticipating the boney crack of an ankle at any moment.

There were some even scarier sights inside though. Some of the tattooed ladies with trowelled makeup looked a lot scarier than the chip butty brigade bruisers looking after the cruisers. It's a different world.