Thursday, 29 March 2012

Blethers - Well plooked!


Back at the desk this morning. Been suffering badly since getting back from Spain last week, but it wasn’t Spanish tummy, it was Queasyjet backache. In fact the flight was so bad it would make me think twice about long trips in an Airbus A319 again.

The three hour trip from Glasgow to Malaga was bad enough, but the trip back was even worse. On the way out I was squeezed between a big bloke with asthma in the middle and the fuselage on the other side. Every time he breathed in I got squashed like a plook between a teenager’s thumbs. I couldn’t even twist in my seat to give us more room because my knees were jammed against the seat in front. On the way back, the plane was full of sunburnt, wailing weans all trying to out-scream each other.

It made me think though, if Health & Safety is so worried about Noise Levels that we need to control the glorious sound of rally cars with decibel meters at every rally, then they should take a look at, and listen to, an airyplane full of greetin’ weans.

Apparently there is a 124 seat standard version of the Airbus A319, but the ‘budget operators’ tend to specify the 156 seat version – but maybe that’s to make sardines feel at home.

It reinforced my view that the budget operators do not regard their passengers as customers or clients, just commodities. That view was reinforced by the in-flight snack menu. This lists the most expensive items at the top, and makes you wonder if it’s deliberate?

When the stewardess starts shouting above the din of the weans: “Whit dae yeez waaant tae eat?” - the harassed commodity just picks the item at the top of the page, and which just happens to be the dearest!

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