I'm not a celebrity but get me out of here anyway ... Only kidding, but the night time clamour around this watering hole can be both terrifying at times and dreadfully eerie.
There is no breeze to ruffle the trees and yet the leaves are almost constantly rustling despite the stillness of the air. The sudden snap of a twig is often accompanied by furious rustling and grunting in the undergrowth. A veritable cacophony of squeals and howls frequently pierce the velvet cloak of darkness.
Like a burnished mirror, the water reflects the 'hunter's moon' as the heat of the day dissipates. It almost invites weary travellers resting overnight in the nearby lodge to divest themselves of their clothing and bathe in the cooling depths. But who knows what dangers lie beneath? Sudden splashes provoke ripples to scurry across the glittering surface.
Occasionally an explosive eruption causes the water to boil and foam before subsiding back into silence and serenity once again. And all that is left is the haunting memory of the long heart rending scream and gurgle which preceded it.
No-one ventures into the cooling water, not a toe is dipped or pebble skipped across the surface. It seems folks naturally keep well away from this deceptive pool of tranquillity. And yet something does approach.
The jungle falls still as huge shapes emerge, padding out of the blackness on huge flat feet. Long sinuous 'limbs' dip into the water to quench urgent thirsts after the cruel heat spent foraging in the open. The elephants have arrived ...
But fear not dear reader, Mr Bunnet will be back in time for the Galloway Hills Rally next week when normal service will once again be resumed ...