Road - Grotesque or divine?

As a lover of all things mechanical and especially those on two wheels, I saw this and thought of you lot out there, stuck at home and slevvering over what you might be doing in more normal times. Just a little something to make you think of open roads, sun glistening on tarmac and the wind whistling through your Covidian beards (male riders only!) billowing out from around your open face helmet. This will either tickle your fancy or curdle your Irn Bru.

If you thought the Germans were a serious, staid and emotionless race, it may surprise you to know that there is a motor cycle customising scene alive and well in the land of lager and leather shorts. But being German, their idea of customising is rather different from the outrageous chrome and jewelled paint schemes, extended forks and spine jarring suspensionless creations of those more outrageous starred and striped metal bashers and scaffolding pole users across the water.

Apparently BMW Motorrad have a habit of handing bikes to some of the better known customisers as a marketing exercise. In this case Dirk Oehlerking of Kingston Custom based in Gelsenkirchen near Düsseldorf got his mitts on the latest R18 cruiser model.

This creation does have one thing going for it, or perhaps that should be two things - a two cylinder boxer engine. Not just any boxer engine, a direct descendant of the original 1923 configuration with an 1,802 cc power plant producing 91 hp and delivering a maximum torque of 116 lbs-ft (158 Nm) at 3,000 rpm - and a soundtrack to die for.

Trouble is I can't decide whether it's so ugly that it should be loved - or too beautiful for a culturally bereft 'bear' to appreciate it. Regardless of that, it is most certainly different.

Me? I'll give it a body swerve.