Rally - Auction? Nae chance

It has been suggested that a certain bunnet be auctioned off for charity. That is a quite outrageous suggestion. To deprive a long serving rally reporter of the comfort and protection of his napper warmer as Winter approaches is a despicable act of thoughtless selfishness. Have you any idea how long it takes and how hard it is to run-in a new Harris Tweed bunnet?

For the first 1,000 paces, the wearer should not exceed a walking pace in excess of 3mph and for the next 1,000 paces, certainly no more than 4mph. Similarly, when dealing with breezes, winds, gales and gusts, one has to exercise care as the bunnet is very likely to take flight into the nearest trees or wet ditch. One also has to allow for wet weather shrinkage and warm weather expansion. However this process does help to ensure a snug fit as the bunnet gradually and naturally adjusts to fit the wearer's head snugly and therefore able to withstand anything that the Scottish climate can throw at it.

This particular bunnet has survived the extremes of weather right across the globe, from crossing the Rocky mountains in an open air Jeep 25 years ago to everything that the Mull weather could throw at an intrepid reporter standing by the roadside in the horizontal rain, legs and feet braced against a howling gale, and hanging on to his reporter's notepad which is gradually disintegrating into pulp in his frozen mitt.

As a result, the peak is now threadbare where it has been tugged in deferential acknowledgement of sporting superstars, and even royalty, over the years and also has a wee hole at the rear from being constantly tugged down at the back to face the storms of controversy endured in the pursuit of downright fibs, tall tales, legends, gossip and the (occasional!) truth in times gone past.

This bunnet has a history all of its own including an interior infestation that would defy a nuclear decontamination team never mind a scrubbing brush and two bottles of Domestos - and yet you'd have the thing auctioned off?

That is a step too far. Nae chance, but haud oan jist a wee minit.

Someone might have been found who is willing to help an auld git break-in a new bunnet after all !!!!