My big pal Jaggy was
in Duns last weekend. He was attending one of the regular Jim Clark Rally
organisers meetings. If anyone is still in any doubt about the effort required
to organise a closed road rally then the numbers speak for themselves. There were
19 officials around the table and 12 apologies from those unable to attend although
their progress had been noted. That’s over 30 folk with specific
responsibilities.
Anyway, after the nearly 3 hour meeting, the big chap headed
for home, but instead of taking the main road, decided to take the tourist
route over the Lammermuirs. Good choice. Then the SatNav screen went blank!
Undaunted, and possessed of an uncanny natural sense of
direction, plus years of experience garnered in navigational rallying, he
carried on. Using signposts instead of listening to the strident instructions
of a plummy burd or an insistent annoying posh bloke, the big lad headed for
Longformacus, Gifford and on into Dalkeith.
It was only 20 miles across the moors but it was as empty as
a Brexit promise. Frequent wreaths of mist were accompanied by sleet and rain showers.
It was as bleak as Sherlock Holmes’ search for the Hound of the Baskervilles. The
only signs of life were the sodden woolly blobs of bedraggled sheep dotted
about the dark heather mottled landscape looking like dandruff sprinkled over a
bad haircut. The wet tarmac road ahead glittered like dull twisted chrome
winding over the moors. And then the phone signal was lost.
Which made him wonder how the current 'snowflake' generation
would fare when things go wrong. Technology is a wonderful thing when all is
well and working, but when it crashes, we are lost. It’s one thing losing
SatNav but just suppose someone is travelling in an autonomous car. Lovely as the
Lammermuir Hills are, they can be as malevolent as a starving bear in a pie
shop.
The technophobes will tell us such a blackout couldn't
happen. The boffins also tell us that autonomous cars will be safer on the
roads than humans. I beg to differ. All it would take is one unscrupulous or
disgruntled employee deep in the bowels of Huawei HQ on t'other side of the
Great Wall to flick a switch and an array of satellites up there in the heavens
would suddenly become dark. Autonomous vehicles would stop in their tracks, information
screens would blank out and robots would suspend their labours. And not even
the swish of a wind turbine could provide solace and comfort. Scary, eh?
Even more worrisome is the thought that Donald Trump might
just be right after all. Now that's really scary, eh?
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