Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Christmas Greetings



My Pal Santa

My pal Santa is a fearliess flier, the Scroots would have a fit
The seats and belts are out of date so he has no place to sit
He’d never pass a Noise Test, and the sleigh has no MoT
The windscreen’s cracked and frozen o’er so through it he cannae see

Chief Scroot MacDonald would have a rage, and glow bright red of face
The Blue Book rules of little use, in this exceptional case
No tax disc either or insurance docket, for Sheila to note and pass
And Greig couldn’t dip the fuel tank, to check for illicit gas

Clingan too could check enviro, but this time to no avail
No need here for a ‘New Pig’ sop, just reindeer poo and a pail
But how does McDowall sound the horn, and test the Christmas crackers
Dangerous job as he’ll find out, when squeezing the reindeer knackers

With Scroots and Air Ministry bypassed, there is one final check
To ensure he’s legal and fit to fly ‘The Sheriff’ will inspect
No need here for a stamp or seal, or even a Logbook list
Just a nod, a wink and a dram, to make him a wee bit pissed

Runners polished, reindeer fed, and SatNav primed for flight
That’s him ready for his labours, ahead of a busy night
And if David and Euan think they’re quick, and Quintin thinks he’s faster
Here’s some news for all of youse, Santa is the master

So, Merry Christmas everyone, from me - and my pal Santa.

N.B. All the names are entirely non-fictitious and bear no resemblance to any living person, except those who are mentioned above.

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