Season’s Greetings

All is dark and quiet within the eerie confines of Castle Bunnet at present as the incumbent, one J Bunnet Esq, is away from home on ‘family’ business.

He packed his bags and sporran to head north on the Christmas train with a hamper of sustaining porridge sandwiches. This is an annual trip at this time of year as he visits his close relatives in Lapland. As the wrongly, and quite unfairly, alleged Black Sheep of the family he has to travel incognito. However, such is the power of his unique skillset, he is obliged to help out the other ‘good’ members of the family who emigrated to the far and frozen north many years back during ‘the Highland Clearances’.

Back then the family had taken up the offer of employment with an elderly bearded gentleman who favours bright clothes and a red toorie bunnet. He was having trouble with his reindeer herd which is where the Bunnet clan has proved most helpful and capable, especially Jaggy himself. His inherent and uncanny abilities as a fully certified and work experienced Haggis Herdsman qualifies him as one of the very few people in the world today who can master an unruly sleigh pulling team of reindeer.

As these animals only get hitched to the sack carrying transport once a year they can prove quite obstinate and unruly. It therefore takes particular skills and the expression of ancient celtic sweary words to provide the necessary motivation. On the other hand, the somewhat worrying aroma of venison stew wafted under their nostrils can provide additional encouragement to persuade these proud and regal beasts to return to harness and team work.

As most of us will ken, shepherding a flock of wild haggis is akin to fechtin’ a horned and angry Highland bull with a feather duster, so getting the reindeer hitched up to work and pull together is a doddle after that.

So in his absence and on his behalf may I wish all those who read this regular source of drivel a Merry Christmas and a very safe, successful and guid New Year to all of you and your families.