Rally - The Bears

Deep in the heartlands of the once proud and industrial thriving conurbation of Lanarkshire, where the bings lie dormant and the steel works are lifeless, where Waitrose fears to tread and the Lidls are packed like a home game league cup decider, life continues to cling to a precarious existence.

As Winter draws in, some unusual nocturnal activity was spotted last night around a quaint watering hole and feeding station in Stonehouse. There lying in wait in the car park across the road from the ‘Indian Times’ lurked a fervent wildlife watcher, looking suspiciously like David Attenborough, crouched in the rhododendrons, watching a variety of noisy and winter-coated two legged shapes shambling towards the illuminated doorway seriously intent on stocking up the fat layers for winter hibernation.

After the bitter dejection of events surrounding the McRae Rally in October, the disappointment has been replaced by a sense of optimism for the new year. If anyone thought The Bears would be down then beware the arrival of a new rallying season. And if you do hear a growl in the woods next year it might not be a BDA - it might just be a Lanarkshire grizzly clearing its throat and hungry for action. So take care, may the forests be with you.

Or as The Bears would have it, no nan too sweet, no pakora too much, no onions too nippy, no curry too hot - and never enough beer to quench it.