…. but didn’t quite go to plan! A
quarter of a century ago, Coltness Car Club was squeezed out of the Tweed
Valley, and then also Dumfries & Galloway, perhaps on the grounds that the
Forestry Commission was fearful that this particular Coltness genus of ursine Lanarkshire
bears might spread and breed in the Tweed Valley and Ae forests and thereby provide
a threat to the FC’s preferred nurturing of the growing lycra clad ‘illuminatti
mountainous bikus’ species which was permeating the southern woodlands.In search of a more hospitable habitat, the Coltness Bears
turned and headed northwards to the gateway of the Highlands – Perth. There
they were warmly welcomed by the Provost of Perth & Kinross, Mike O’Malley
Esq, a kindred spirit by all accounts, and the Colin McRae Forest Stages Rally
found a new home.
The great and the good from Lanarkshire turned up that day
and such was the warm welcome the assembled entourage took inspiration from the
Beatles’ Abbey Road album to initiate an image which would re-launch this annual
sporting competition but their attempts to re-enact the famous zebra crossing
was thwarted by Perth’s traffic. C’est la Vie, eh?The photographers had therefore to content themselves with
the more traditional style of PR fotie and which included a perfect pose
performed by the pure dead gallus James McRae Esq along with the traditional line-up
showing Oor Wullie, the Provost himself, Ken Dagger of GHI Contracts
representing the rally sponsors, and James, the Bears’ overseer.
P&K’s hospitality showed no bounds that day with a
variety of beverages and delicacies including raw meat sandwiches, caramel clawgs,
scrumptious T-bone cakes and fangtasy fairy cakes.There was also one other dignitary of note, amongst the
Coltness delegation there was a rather unique and unsettingly upsetting sighting
of a certain personage without his customary and well-worn ‘rid-jaikit’, none
other than ex rally driver and Ford ‘works’ guru, ‘Rockers’, resplendent in a
collar, tie and suit – a sight never likely to be repeated!
