Unable to attend the Beatson’s
Building Supplies Mull Rally this year I had to watch and listen from afar. And
that in itself is awfy difficult. It’s like spectating in 2D as opposed to 5D –
sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. Whilst on-line video clips can convey the
sights and sounds they badly miss out on the smells such as hot brakes and
clutches, burning rubber and boiling oil, and of course, the succulent smells
of Cammy’s fish and chip chuck wagon wafting along the Tobermory bay. And then there is the physical sense of touch, not just the
seeping damp through your breeks as you sit on a moss covered rock or grassy
tussock waiting for cars to appear, or that sinking feeling when you trip over
the in the dark and put your hands down to save yourself, only to find that the
hie’lan coos have been therefore before you and left their soft brown pancakes
on the ground.
As for taste, there is a plethora of on-line social media
posts showing a mouth watering array of tray-bakes for rally and service crews
and then the Coffee Pot in Salen and other eateries with their constant flow of
adverts showing what’s on their sit-in and cairry oot menus. Watching that lot
requires a bib for slevvering telly watchers.
There is yet one more sensation that is unique to Mull, the
weather. From the sunshine and white sands of Calgary to the white frosts of early
winter, rain that can reach parts of the human body that only orthopedists and
rectal examiners have previously discovered and wind that lifts and blaws bunnets
and woolly hats quicker than an R5 with launch control.
Which just all goes to prove that Mull is a physical visceral
experience, not a remote armchair spectacle. You can’t taste the rain or smell
the air if you’re not physically there. If you leave the island disappointed
then you weren’t really there!
Just forget for a minute the HQ team safely tucked up in
their electrically powered and heated offices and remember that there were
around 200 volunteer souls scattered across the island out in the elements with
their bright orange tabards, radios, first aid boxes and tow ropes who ensured that
those participating in the fun and frolics could do so in safety knowing that sustenance
and rescue was never far away and as we congratulate the winners we must never
forget those who put on the show in the first place.
Of course we all know who won and who didn’t, but the on-event
coverage was helped along by the pop-up appearances of the pixie-in-chief Luke
Barry who filled in the progress gaps left behind by the large number of commentless
video clips posted by other film-makers and fans.
Which all just left a sour taste in the mouth that once
again I wasn’t able to be there. And yet there were moments to be savoured even
from afar.
For instance, how can Stephen Thompson drive a Mk2 so bluidy
quickly? He only gets off his ‘rs’ once or twice a year to do a rally these
days, then he and Larry Higton come to Mull and finish not only top RWD car but
well inside the top ten in seventh place? It’s quite simply uncanny and Stephen’s
performance worthy of the good old days of Calum in a Mk2!
And as for making an impression, I reckon Alan Scott must
have been feasting on Mull’s magic mushrooms! Not only top FWD but tenth
overall in an MG ZR. That is just nuts. Mind you he had Rachel Matheson on the
Notes although perhaps she should have been with regular driver Nikki Addison. Nikki
had the ageing, sorry that should read ‘vastly experienced’, Iain Thorburn
alongside in the Honda but they failed to finish when the water pulley broke –
it surely wouldn’t have happened with Rachel in the car, would it? Mind you,
Alan had his troubles too, replacing wheel bearings and then a wee fright
before the final stage when they robbed a LR Defender for a couple of bits just
to get them over the Finish Line.
It was also good to see young, well I still remember him as
a boy, Ally Currie scoring a top twenty finish with the wee Peugeot 106. He and
Chris Hamill finished 17th overall scoring their third class win on the trot,
but that was no doubt down entirely to the support of Phoebe, Ally’s partner –
and she’s 34 weeks pregnant! Some dedication there, eh? Only half a minute
behind those two were another relative youngster, Yorkshire’s Lewis Hooper and our
own ‘Flee’in Doc’, Steven Brown getting an excellent result in the Ford Fiesta
in 18th place.
In 45th place overall was the mighty Metro 4R2 of Innes and Kirsty
Mochrie. The self built, prepped and developed Rover Metro looks awfy standard
from the outside but the father and daughter team had the wee motor well wound
up over the dips and jumps of Mull. Just a couple of places behind were the top
newcomers, Andrew Blackwood and Leesa Watson contesting their first Mull Rally
in Andrew’s Ford Fiesta. Both of them knew the rally well but coming over for a
looksee and bevvy session or two is rather different from coming over with a rally
car and taking on the prospect of tackling a 140 mile closed road rally over twists
and turns that would have a sober man dizzy!
And another thing, if Jaggy Bunnet was still handing out ‘Flying
Bricks’ then Sarah Hunter would have had a new ornament for her mantelpiece.
Just three weeks after a terrible tumble at the McRae Challenge at Knockhill,
Sarah was back in a rally car contesting Mull – which is just a wee bit
different from Knockhill! Anyway she was
not only the first woman driver but she and James Bones Braithwaite finished 52nd
overall in a hastily built and prepped Ford Fiesta after the Hunter family and
friends rallied round to get her back on her wheels.
Speaking of heroic efforts what about Kenny (Big Dread) Watt
and Gail Whyte finishing 80th overall in ‘Wee Red’, Kenny’s awfy standard looking
wee Leyland Mini. It was Gail’s first time co-driving on Mull which was
daunting enough but the thing that puzzles me is how ‘Big Dread’ fits inside ‘Wee
Red’? Either the wee Mini is the original working prototype for the Tardis or it’s
just plain and simple magic!
As for Team Browns, can we just ignore Doug
and Dan’s impressive 16th overall finish and concentrate on Linda’s 83rd finish
at close of play. Ater two non-Mull finishes in her Fiesta ST, she and Kevin
MacIver romped around the island to make it third time lucky in her Vauxhall
Nova. Gaun yersel lass!
Those were the lucky ones of course, 40 crews failed to
reach the Finish under the Beatson’s arch in Tobermory and that included North
Yorkshire’s finest (although I’m not sure what he’s the finest of) Curly (Toot
Toot) Haigh and Sally Peacock in the venerable (ancient?) Mk1 Escort and Owen ‘The
Boy’ Paterson who barely got started when the Subaru suffered fuel problems at
the pre-rally shakedown and then died completely on Saturday morning putting
him and Clare Fraser out of the running. Still there is nothing quite like a
session in Mull’s many bars to soothe the after rally blues and aid the recuperation
ready for another visit next year, eh?
As for me, I was elsewhere, but I was still able to raise a
glass and send some smoke signals to friends past and present. Maybe next year,
eh?