Thought for the week

…. or the year, or maybe even eternity! Not that I wish to blight your new year before it has even got started, but current and ongoing events have raised a few worrisome thoughts inside the dark tower at Castle Bunnet. If Mr Trump does decide to invade and rule Greenland, what next?

Iceland is only a short sail away, so will that be next? And then once he’s got the whole eastern side of the Atlantic subjugated he might just fancy a bit of the western side so that he controls both sides of this Northern ‘passage’. And you know what means – the Western Isles! Of course he might well use the excuse that these islands are his own anyway since his Mother came from Tong near Stornoway.

And once the stetsons and spurs land on Lewis and Harris, what next? There is an obvious choice here – Mull. With Mr Trump hell bent on having the best and bigliest of everything, then having ‘the best rally in the world’ will be the Scottish equivalent of the FIFA Peace Medal. The annual ‘Mull Rally’ is the only Scottish event which can match the Indy 500 in terms of fame, spectacle and glamour! From there it’s just a short hop over the water on to the mainland so why not go for that and make the whole of Scotland his eastern Atlantic base?

And of course this being a democracy, King Charles will be deposed, or exiled, and a new monarch crowned - King Donald. Naturally, the new King Donald will become Donald IV as there have previously been three King Donalds of Alba who ruled the Picts and Scots 1,000 years ago so he will have ancient history on his side! And before you know it we’ll all be having to speak Yanklish.

Happy new year everyone, or should that be Happy nooo year y’all ?